What if penguins, but tentacles? Schrödinger's cat escapes from the box. A clock is yellow when it should have been red. Is cheese better than women? A chicken sexer deals with the implications of his work.

In these five haunting stories by Xyzzy award-winning writer Simon Christiansen strange creatures and objects challenge the norms of society and often the foundations of reality itself. The stories have previously been published in markets such as Nature Futures, Lackington's, and Horror Sleaze Trash. The collection even includes the source code for a short adventure game written in the natural language framework Inform 7.